What is the meaning of a birthday?
Is it a celebration of life? A celebration of you? A counting of your days?
I don’t really give much thought on how to celebrate my birthday every year.
Usually I’ll just hang out with whoever’s free and do something I feel like doing.
This year, I just hung out with my friends throughout the week.
Wei Qian wanted to spend the entire day with me, and I felt like doing something fun, so we went to the carnival. It was really really fun.
And then the next day I hung out with my primary school friends, we went window shopping (all of us actually bought something though so I wouldn’t count it as window shopping)
I’m probably my girliest when I’m with them. I told them shopping with them is really fun because they really care about you being able to find something you like, and they genuinely celebrate with you when you do. We also hang around at random places like mall seats meant for uncles and aunties, and along glass panels to just chat about life. I really love them.
I spent today with my grandparents, just walking around Jurong east. Felt like it’s been a Long time since I walked around there. I held hands with them most of the time. I like how comfortable I can be around them. I realise it’s not really common to have grandparents you can be so close to.
Then I dragged them to this Japanese desert shop in Lot One to get some slices of cake. I don’t really think much about cake and my Mom usually chooses whatever they want, but somehow this year I felt like being really intentional in getting slices of cake to celebrate. I chose a chocolate one because my dad likes chocolate and my Grandfather wanted it, and then two cheesecakes because everyone loves cheesecakes, and this fresh cream strawberry cake I’ve always been dying to try from that shop. As I was picking them out, I realised something. This time instead of thinking about just what I wanted, i wanted to pick cakes my family would like too. Of course they were still cakes I wouldn’t mind eating too, thought of “what would they want?” Flashed into my head.
I couldn’t think of anywhere to eat for dinner, (although I had in mind maybe some expensive Japanese place), but my Grandfather suggested this Chinese restaurant at farm mart that he liked (we celebrated his birthday there), and it sounded like a good idea so we went there. It was a really delicious meal. Normally I would have just decided on going to some place with Japanese food, but this time round I felt like going somewhere my Grandfather would like.
We didn’t sing a birthday song this year (I remembered last year’s birthday and how awkward it was), I didn’t blow any candles either, so I said that each slice of cake would represent 5 years of my life, and my dad said “that’s smart”, and then he took a picture of me and my cakes.
Then we all ate the cakes together and everyone liked them especially my Grandfather, and I was happy that they liked the cakes I chose.
As a kid birthdays were all about getting wishes granted, because it’s my birthday! I have the the rights to whatever I wanted because it’s a day for celebrating me.
But as I grew older, I find that now I really just want my birthdays to be spent on celebrating the people I love in my life.
This is probably another example of how God has changed me, and really, nothing would make me happier than see people enjoying my birthday.
This year was good.
Okay my actual birthday hasn’t even started yet. But I’m really looking forward to it.
I’ll be starting the day running with sera first thing in the morning. (We’re gonna try running non stop from Bukit Panjang to Lot One) I don’t think she knows it’s my birthday, and I’m wondering if it’ll change anything if I tell her, and why it would change anything.
Maybe I just want her to know that I wanted to spend my actual birthday with her in the morning, and she’s that special to me.
Or maybe I just want another cake from her after we reach Lot One that she can buy from chateraise
Who knows hahahha.