I can’t really decide on just one topic to write about today. So I thought I’d just go on about anything that comes into my mind!
Today was a great day! It really exceeded my expectations of being totally and utterly exhausted and bored in work. I guess it really is the people that make it happen. It really doesn’t matter what you’re doing! Like how you could be doing the most wonderful thing alone but it would never beat doing something boring like homework with your favourite people.
I also found a different side to myself today! It’s been a really long time since I was this sociable and bubbly with people. And I didn’t feel tired at all! I guess it also has something to do with things being better at home. Home really sets the comfort of the heart.
You know, I wonder how life would feel like without worries at all. Well actually, being a christian, we don’t actually need to worry about anything do we? It’s just that our capabilities of faith is so small that we can’t possibly NOT worry about things at all. It gets tiring too, after a while.
I won’t be able to fully appreciate the present if I can’t take my eyes off the future.
Yet I still can’t fully get rid of that fluttery feeling in my heart. Worrying is really quite a cardio exercise.
And that leads to fear… doesn’t it? Fear of things. I am very scared of many many things. I’m scared of screwing up. I think I’m most afraid of hurting people… because of something I did. If I hurt someone, and I could have done something to avoid it, I’d never forgive myself. Which is why when I’m scarred with a really bad memory, It really sticks to me and I wouldn’t dare to do many things because of it.
For now, I think that’s what’s worrying me the most.
There’ll always be something for me to start worrying about. I’m a worrier. I really really am. It sucks.
There’s always a need for me to be reassured about things. Which I’m sure people will start to find annoying after a while.
I just realised I’m pretty much talking to myself right now.
OH yes! That’s right, today’s valentine’s day! I don’t know why talking to myself reminds me of that but yeah. ha. ha . ha.
Fun fact. People commit suicide more during festive occasions like this. okay maybe not such a fun fact after all.
Actually I think I know why. Valentine’s day can be a really major disappointment for a lot of people. It raises an overload of expectations in just a single day. Plus, imagine if you always feel depressed on normal days when everyone else is normal. Then as one day comes along and the festive mood spikes up to level 1000 all around you, you’d feel a 1000 times more depressed in comparison, see?
And since they’ve got all these valentine things plastered all over radio and TV and magazines and adverts and social media and pictures and it’s pretty much impossible to ignore the whole thing even if you tried your hardest.
PLUS there’s also a spike on social media in the need to portray yourself as a single unwanted human being. It’s a trend isn’t it? To combat the “I wish I had someone” impression, You’d rather say, “I’m single and unwanted let’s all band up and be proud of it.” Okay i’m really talking crap now.
My parents spent valentines’ day at Long John’s silver and a trip to meet a bank advisor. hmmm.
Well, I’m not saying it’s not important to express appreciation and affection. I think that’s really important too.
But making it almost compulsory on just one day seems rather, industrialised…doesn’t it? Wouldn’t you rather it wasn’t a mandatory thing?
WELL ANYWAYS, it is quite nice to see affection all around everywhere, so I’m not complaining.
Thank you for tuning into Rachel’s Random Rants. Goodnight everybody. Goodnight to you.
A message brought to you by yakult, singapore’s no. 1 cultured milk.
Okay i’m not doing this. I just keep hearing that on the radio. What’s wrong with me today. (In a good way)