On Hugs and …. Stuff

So I’m on the train now to the airport and I feel like writing hehehe.

Today was my last day at work and we were all saying our goodbyes, and then one of them held out his arms to hug me.

I kind of just froze. Because he was very tall. And very big. And it looked like it would be a real genuine hug and not that awkward side hug thingy.

HONESTLY I was very uncomfortable. (I mean boundary thingies) It’s not like I hate this guy or anything! He’s really nice and friendly! But I feel weird just hugging a guy I hardly know. Like the full hug. You know. The whole body touching thing (gaaaah) I know it’s a little dumb to some people. I’m sure loads of girls hug guys goodbye all the time and it’s kind of a normal thing. But Jairia also agreed with me!

She said that it’s like you’re saving that kind of hug for more special occasions.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Well actually she’s kind of right. It’s like saying the word Love so much it would loose it’s meaning. All my life I’ve never hugged a guy (like the proper kind, not the side thing HAHAHAHAHA) so it’s kind of weird if the first hug I get is from someone I knew for two weeks. You know? These things have meaning. As cheesy as it sounds but it’s true. To me.

Ahhhh this is so embarrassing to write about. But Jairia said she felt the same thing too. So I feel less embarrassed now.

See, all these were running through my mind at that exact point because I didn’t want to hug this guy with my arms and how is it possible to accept a hug comfortably without hugging the other person back and I don’t want to like…. You know… It’s like being squashed against each other it’s so aldkkajhakahajs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not that I don’t like hugging. Or being hugged. I think it’s the nicest feeling. And I always wonder what it really feels like.

Point is. It’s something special. A hug. Like saying the word ‘Love’. It would be a special thing if the first guy you’ve hugged in your entire life would be a guy who is really special to you… Right…?

Actually this whole awkward freezing thing happened before on the last day of band with this huge tuba guy too. Why do all huge guys like to hug=___=

Yup. It’s special. And I want to keep it that way!

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