How exactly do you fill up a big, gaping, missing hole for someone who’s not there anymore?
I notice it everyday. And it’s always there. I can feel it. Sometimes it gets a little numb and I don’t feel it anymore when I’m distracted. But when I’m alone with myself, It comes back again.
I don’t even know what this hole is anymore. Is some of it a part of me too?
But it’s not the kind of hole that a feeling of having no purpose in life creates. It’s another kind, it feels different. It’s more like an ache rather than a dark emptiness.
And only God can fill up that emptiness. But that’s another post I might write about someday if I ever feel it (which I hope I never!).
But this ache in my heart doesn’t feel like that. It’s less of a life or death thing:O
I think I just miss him.
I don’t want to sound like a corny twitter page.
But I really do. The sad part is that I don’t even think I can tell him that.
I know this isn’t a huge problem. And it’s really hard to share this kind of thing with a friend and not expect this face (._.) in return!
Say, “sigh, last night was quite a bad night. I even cried a little like a hormonal emotional pregnant woman.”
“I just felt this overwhelming feeling of missing someone.”
You see?? See what I mean???
That’s another sad part:(
But I’m not Emo or anything. I don’t drag myself through the days like a hollow dementor, with a face as black as a century egg and cry all the time. I can still laugh, and joke around, and have fun, and be happy, and skip and sing and cycle and feel great! But it’s just sometimes, that ache comes back. Right here
*points to heart*
*and the back of my eyes in extreme cases*