I really don’t want to end up going backwards.
Preparing for devotions every morning for the group has really let me see how much truth there is in the word of God all over again. I think overtime, I kinda just forgot and didn’t see a need to that much.
I became satisfied with where I was in my walk with God, and that just meant I wasn’t thirsty for more of Him. I don’t quite know what else I was satisfied with. Maybe the excitement of school, new friends, new things to learn.
This retreat wasn’t really an emotional one, but there was so much I learned throughout these past few days about God, myself, and other people and I’m really thankful for that. Less of experience, more of conviction. Talking to my group mates I realise a lot of them have insecurities about not feeling as much as the people around them. So I tell them that it’s what you act on after retreat that really matters.
1) Setting myself apart from the World.
I’ve really been trying to fit in more than standing up for what God says is wrong and right. Trying to not stand out, just agreeing with things, not saying anything. A quiet Christian in class. I want to change that so that people will notice God through me (Wah that’s a really heavy responsibility but I want to try). Be different Rachel!
2) Quiet Time
I was reminded again of how important it really really really really is to constantly read the Word of God and take it in me. Like water, or food. I’ve been full with other kinds of food that don’t give me nutrients at all. Like Cup Noodles. Many of the things I want to grow in, praying for others, serving, wisdom, sensitivity to God’s voice, all these things can only be achieved by knowing His word! And yet I don’t actively seek it. I’m really quite stupid. I must always remember that if I’m not growing, I’m just going backwards. No in-betweens.
3) Peace from Trust
I always need to be constantly reminded that I’m not alone when I step into tomorrow. The future. God is there in my tomorrows too. I thought the analogy of being on a cloud with God above all the scary mountains was pretty cool. Why am I always so afraid? Always so worried? I spend even more time worrying than time spent with God. It’s easy to say that I trust God with my life, but I hardly ever show it.
So from now on whenever my worrying symptoms kick in again, I’ll just start talking to God instead of myself.
Talking to myself just makes things worse with a brain like mine.-.
I really need to keep track of what I want to do, not just say these things and forget them. Like my Resolutions for this year, I’ve only really been working on the encouragement part more and forgetting the other two. I need to put them in my heart again. Constantly.
Tomorrow I’ll most likely be alone for the entire day. I mean today, since it’s 12am.
I feel kind of sad that I’m not surrounded by bruhs and sistars (This is my gangsta lingo which sounds completely weird in this context but never mind) and church people anymore. It’s a nice feeling. Being taken care of, and taking care of others at the same time.
I like to think of heaven as an eternal church camp though.
Instead you could probably hold a cup noodle party with Moses too. But I don’t think Moses fancies cup noodles much.