I tried to be a bit more comfortable with them today. But when they went on to study at the library I kinda just declined politely. And as we were walking, I just sort of slipped in front a little so I could be alone. I don’t know. I just really didn’t feel like talking.
It felt both depressing and refreshing saying goodbye and being alone again.
It’s a weird feeling, you know? First I felt all alone and sad. But then I put on my music and that warm golden evening sun was shining on my face. And I felt very peaceful.
I want to try to describe this peaceful tranquility. It’s really weird. I feel it now as I’m lying in bed with my music and typing.
The house is empty. You can hear the wind outside the window. You can feel it. And it’s sort of getting dimmer as the sun sets.
And the music feels you up, your head, your heart, everything. It kind of echoes.
A simple voice, she sounds like she’s whispering right next to you. The guitar is a little further away. And the piano is even further. But somehow at the same time they’re all in your head.
It’s this feeling. Noticing everything. The quietness. The way the sunlight reflects a little off everything. The stillness of everything in the room. How my eyelids are slowly drooping. The way my eyelashes drag light along with it as I blink slowly. How the light and shadows change on the ceiling.The curtains fluttering slightly just at the ends. The way the sounds flow through my head. The things I’m reminded of because of that. There aren’t really any words to describe this kind of feeling.
It’s only something you can feel when you’re alone I guess.