Making Things

It’s really so so so cool how music can make you feel and imagine something. light notes could sound like the sea, or the stars, or moonlight. Minor scales sound eerie. or sad. I wish I knew more about music to compose exactly what I wanted. I like making things. Creating things. Art and music. […]

I need to stop!!!

Stop relying on other people Rachel. Just stop. And security. And feeling wanted and loved. I actually wrote this post three times and deleted all of them because I realised that this was just the main underlying issue beneath everything. And I need to start reading my textbook and not spend an hour writing and […]

Dear God, please help me. Help me to only lean on you. No one else Nothing else Just you. I’ve gone on for too long wandering and waiting and hoping for the wrong things. I want to truly surrender it all. My hopes and my dreams. Help me to let them go. It’s not about […]

I need to stop hoping and expecting for the future I want. Take what comes and take what goes. I feel like I’m on a road heading to a horrible dark hole. And if I don’t get off I’ll probably never come out. But I’m going so fast it’s so hard to brake. I don’t […]


All I can do now Is watch myself tear me down again All I can say “I told you so” I knew what was wrong Why did I not listen? There isn’t such a thing You only made up a lie And here comes everything else That was locked away Driving backwards in a tunnel […]


There’s still this uneasiness inside of me. I guess it happens when the people you’re close to are everywhere and you can’t be everywhere. And if you choose to be with one you can’t be with the others. It’s really quite funny. All the people I’m close to don’t really like each other. It’s an […]

Dream log #17

I’m in this shopping mall, it’s kinda like parkway parade just that it’s completely empty and the whole place is under construction. I’m working there, and I’m just fooling around and playing on this metal scaffolding, Climbing and carefully making my way around. It’s really high up so it’s pretty scary, and you could see […]


Some parts of life feel perfect. I guess its the highroad. It feels like that now. It’s as if nothing can ever go wrong and you’re invincible. Nothing plague’s my mind. Nothing haunts me. Sad thoughts wash away so easily because the present is all that really matters. But it’s also moments like these when […]