Human Connection

When does feeling supported become too much emotional reliance?

I really don’t want to fall into the same trap over and over again.

How come it’s so easy for other people to be so independent and not rely on anyone?

Don’t they feel lonely? Don’t they feel like there’s no where to pour out everything? Doesn’t it get suffocating after a while, drowning in so much of your buried self?????

So much for a year of learning to not depend on other people, I don’t feel like I’ve gotten anywhere. And it’s already December.

How does Jairia do it though. She never ever tells anyone about her problems, not even me. For her, it helps her more if she keeps it to herself and if she focuses on not thinking about it. That’s why she doesn’t like talking about sad things. And that’s why I stopped pestering her to tell me about her sad things. Because I’m always telling her about sad things and I thought it unfair that she had to constantly listen to me but I hardly had much to listen from her.

It’s times like this when I really think thinking about this just makes it worse instead of clarifying things. If I stop thinking about this it wouldn’t matter now would it? But no, my name is Rachel Tai and it’s impossibru.

I mean, we were created to long for human connection. I guess it’s just that different humans have different ways of connecting.


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