Honesty

I’m not the most honest of people.

Why do I lie?

I lie because I think I know better. I lie because of pride.

Today I decided to drop a lie.

Guilt is such an important feeling. It sucks to feel guilty, but it’s the only thing that flashes at us when we’re speeding way too fast, a painful, beeping alert that something’s wrong. And wow, how much sin truly separates us from God. I feel it now. Feeling so ashamed, I don’t even deserve to be in His presence. I don’t deserve to worship or serve Him. Who am I to even claim anything?

Maybe this is why it’s so important to remind the people around us about how much God loves them. It’s really hard to tell yourself that, but somehow it’s different when someone reaasures you of it instead. And yesterday morning Joni messaged me how much He did love me, just randomly, out of nowhere, but I guess it’s not that random after all!

It’s been some time since I felt so, so small and undeserving and horrible and filthy.

It’s a really good wake up call.

Before the ‘I’ in me becomes too big and pride takes over.

I just realised that I can actually use this for cell this week!!!!!

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