I was working on my essay when suddenly my phone rang and her name flashed on my screen and I was in shock because it was 11:30pm.
When I picked up she asked me about class tomorrow, but suddenly she broke into soft sobs and I kinda think I knew what happened.
Hearing her, my heart kind of seized up a bit and became cold. I didn’t want to feel anything. Because I didn’t want to taste that pain again. Then she told me about how she’s sick of guys who have been so effected by past relationships that they can no longer function properly in a present one. And I just told her that I hope their story doesn’t become hers.
Thing is, she always gives her 100% in any relationship she comes across. Even if it’s just been a month. but of course, it’s hard to come by people who’d give that back.
And honestly, it must hurt when people don’t love you as much as you do. I think it makes you feel small, insignificant, it makes your love, precious in your eyes, a burden in another. For a precious gift to be trampled upon, and to watch it being tossed aside like it’s nothing, I think it must have felt like that for her.
What’s worse is that these people are the only source of love she wants to receive from, and the only ones she would give hers to. People who leave, who don’t care after a while, and people who don’t see and understand all that she gives.
The heart is so fragile. I don’t think anyone’s allowed themselves to be heard by me, crying so brokenly and desparately before. I feel really, really honoured, however sadistic that may sound (ITS NOT). What I’m really honoured by how much she trusted me I guess.
It must do something to your heart, going through experiences like these again and again. Sometimes, from hearing all these stories, it seems like entering into a relationship is like a young, naive bunny hopping unknowingly into a dark, misty forest infested with starving wolves. Make that rabbit blind too.
What a terrible analogy.