It’s been some time since I’ve dipped my toes into sadness, the emotion of it rather than its reality.

Why in the world would I want to feel sad?
I feel like it connects me to a part of humanity that most try to shun away but yet is ever so real. 

People suffer, people are in pain. How can I live a life so naive, so ignorant? How can I live in bliss when there are so many who don’t even know the meaning of the word?

It’s when you know sadness that you can connect to people on a level that requires trust and love.

Yet we’re so afraid of it.

Maybe I’ll say different when it’s my turn for sadness to be a reality rather than just an emotion. But I just hope that I won’t let it consume me, and that I’ll use it for a greater purpose. 



Had a pretty interesting conversation with a taxi driver today.

“Do you always talk to taxi drivers about religion and philosophy?” the taxi uncle asked me.

Haha. Well, I’m glad he spoke in really good English because I wouldn’t have been able to hold a decent conversation otherwise.

His entire family is Christian, except for him, as I was about to ask ,”then why-” he said,”you want to ask why I’m not Christian is it?” and went on to tell me how he believed all religions are good and that as long as they promoted good, he wouldn’t be against it. But he wasn’t particularly into any one religion either.

Then I shared with him about what I thought made Christianity special, how we don’t do good things to earn God’s love but  it’s because of His love that we do good deeds, and he kinda nodded and said something like,”that’s really good, keep believing in that.”

When I brought up the topic of the afterlife he said he’d rather not think about it and focus on the present, because the afterlife is something that we cannot grasp an understanding of. 

And he said if he can manage on his own to do good and have a good heart, he wouldn’t need religion, and that was exactly what he was trying to do.

Then I told him about how everyone has some kind of sin in their lives, and it’s impossible to not sin, he agreed but still kept to his belief on how with self-discipline, people wouldn’t need religion to help them be good.

Thinking now, I realised it’s quite hard for some people to grasp the idea of a love that we don’t earn, especially since in our Asian confucianistic culture, we have always been thought that we can only earn things through hard work. I think it was like that for him. So rarely do you meet people who try to desperately hard to be of a ‘good’ heart and yet doesn’t believe in any religion.

I feel like he kinda resembles my grandfather a bit, in the way that good was what matters, not God.

I didn’t really want to say goodbye so early when I reached my destination, but he said he had a nice time talking to me and that made me really happy:)

I hope someday he comes to know a love that transcends anything that we could ever do to ‘earn’ it.