How do you control yourself when you’re boiling on the inside? Utterly shaken, trembling with such rage. Anger always comes from feeling violated, but it is also a question of what was violated. God, I feel absolutely disgusting, but yet I find it so unfair. Is this really something that I can take? I felt […]


Doesn’t it break your heart to hear the nasty things that people say or think of you? To be completely misunderstood, to be told lies about? How does your heart break over and over again but yet your arms are fixed and open wide? I can’t imagine, I can never understand Like a rose trampled […]

Discipleship group

Didn’t do QT today… It was a pretty tough night , more like morning since it’s 1am  Sometimes I do feel not like going to God even if I’m facing something, I also don’t know why, it’s quite stupid.  Im trying to figure out why too, I guess it’s because I feel so pathetic like […]

Do you know why silent cries are the worst? It’s because you know no one’s going to help you and they can’t  If you knew someone would help you you’d cry out for your life But you feel hopeless You scream and shout and yet your throat locks itself shut Your eyes burn and tears […]


Can I burn away your fears? To make firelight in the darkness of your night And let the glowing cinders in the wind guide you back To where you first grew your fruits of doubt on the only tree you watered  I’ll hand you the axe to make splinters of the branches that kept you […]


I remember I said once that music either lets you see life clearly or distracts you from it. What do I mean by clearly?  It’s kinda that refreshing feeling, I don’t know, everything just feels more clear!  What is this feeling? How do I describe it  Well you can only feel it when you’re alone.  […]

Why do you love

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. (2 Corinthians 5:14, 15 ESV) I was […]


It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything. I can’t really sleep, and I don’t know why. I feel wide awake, like it’s in the middle of the afternoon and it’s a lazy, warm kind of day. But it’s really dark, and it’s kinda cold. You know, I haven’t really been in a reflective […]