Discipleship group

Didn’t do QT today…
It was a pretty tough night , more like morning since it’s 1am 
Sometimes I do feel not like going to God even if I’m facing something, I also don’t know why, it’s quite stupid. 

Im trying to figure out why too, I guess it’s because I feel so pathetic like it’s not worth it for God to listen, even though I know it’s not true and God still wants to hear me so much, but I really don’t feel that truth:/

But sometimes you really have to go and talk to God to believe in that truth rather than just know it… And let Him speak to you in His own way. Having a lot of head knowledge can be a bad thing sometimes because that’s all I rely on at times.

My heart isn’t the most soft heart out there, I find that it constantly needs to be broken to realise how much I really need God, but thinking of it now I really would rather have my heart broken than to take God’s love for granted again and again because it hurts him even more than I can imagine.

Feel a lot better now after writing this, most of the time I feel like God speaks to me while I’m writing somehow haha


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