Staring blankly at a flame

What am I wishing for?

Hearing voices singing the song, quietly, shyly. 

But something felt a little wrong

Maybe it was that one silent voice

That now come to think of it I can’t even remember a time where I heard him  
It felt strange like it didn’t matter

Like it wasn’t real
I’m an adult now

I don’t really need cakes and candles

I don’t need the song anymore

I don’t need special treatment

I don’t need goodnight kisses

Or affection

Or love

It felt like you didn’t think that celebrating mattered anymore

Happy birthday to you, Rachel

Don’t cry.